We are who we are as the sum of two defining traits: our “otherness” and our relationships. Where one sets us apart, the other binds us together. I am my father’s son and my son’s father, distinct from each in thoughts, loves and talents, yet welcomed and loved by both.
When my otherness is held in balance by relationships, I am both unique and included, separate and connected.
Lose that balance and we risk losing ourselves. It is as easy to disappear into the shadow of another as it is to disappear because we have no other.
Otherness without relationship is a heavy burden, carried by whole groups of people, and by many lonely persons.
I keep thinking of Michael Jackson as the ultimate other. Set aside from the beginning for his genius, Jackson was coddled, and then admired, and finally worshipped… but he was never really included. He never belonged to, or with, anyone.
How much of the spectacle of Michael Jackson was driven by his search to belong? To be a brother, a friend, a lover, a father? In the end, of course, Jackson was completely other – neither adult nor child… neither black nor white… neither son nor father. It must have been unbearable.
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Wednesday, July 1st 2009 at 12:02 pm |
Seems as though, as a society, we put so many on pedestals that are instead pitiable. Perhaps we are worshipping falsely??? Great insight into this lost soul, Jim.
Tuesday, June 30th 2009 at 9:37 am |
Ditto the above. The best piece I have read on his passing. Great job!
Monday, June 29th 2009 at 7:45 pm |
Moving analysis, my friend.
His was truly a heart-breaking, life-long search for something almost all of us experience without even trying.
Monday, June 29th 2009 at 5:01 pm |
If it wasn’t misunderstood by the masses, it wouldn’t be genius. Great piece Jim.
Monday, June 29th 2009 at 1:32 pm |
I wanted to take a moment to thank you for sharing your powerful insight and thoughts . I also wanted to thank you for giving us a closer peek at who you are.
Monday, June 29th 2009 at 12:33 pm |
I agree – you really hit it right Jim. I feel such an uncomfortable feeling of being a voyeur whenever I even see a popular magazine in the grocery aisle. Our society has come to expect a certain number of people to be held up for that look-see. Their life-expectancy is so short.
Monday, June 29th 2009 at 12:10 pm |
You were truly inspired when you wrote this, Jim. Thanks for your great perspective on this incredible person.
Monday, June 29th 2009 at 10:28 am |
This scenario only proves to me that genuine connected relationships are important to every fiber of who we are. It is obvious that Micahel Jackson got neither. Jim, you hit this right on the head.
P.S. We will soon get a birds eye view into the vultures this poor soul had in his life. STAY TUNED
Monday, June 29th 2009 at 10:23 am |
Jim, you hit this right on the head. I was reading the comments of a Rabbi who had close connections with MJ he said in his final analysis of the man ” He needed connection with God, spirituality and family” (Something I believe is virtually impossible to do in the toxic celebrity culture) When this didn’t happen is when “all his troubles began”
This entire tragic scernario only proves to me that genuine connectedness with people is what gives us our sanctuary from this Mad Mad Mad Mad World.
P.S. We will soon get a birds- eye view into the vultures this poor soul had in his life. Stay Tuned
Monday, June 29th 2009 at 8:32 am |
Wow. How many MJs are there right now, completely alone and distanced from real friendship by their own successes? Beautiful piece Jim. Any chance you were in the lotus stance when you wrote this?